today we had one of our worst dates ever.
i know this same thing hounding us isn't getting any better.it's to the point where tears well up, and i fight it back, then feel the pain and tried to ignore.
i don't feel as tiring as the numerous times before this.
rather i feel the ache stronger.
when we feel like strangers,
when we behave like strangers,
when our problems never get solved and with each time,
the urge to try gets lesser,
and the hurt gets heavier.
i really hate it when we look like strangers, when we behave like strangers, and hate it more when we behave like strangers.
i don't get to see your backview often,
not the negative way.
but when i do, i really hate it.
even when you're just in front of me,
i feel like i won't be able to reach you.
and when you're so important to me,
it's not a joke anymore.
i want to do away with all these, the same old thing that makes us strangers,
yet i can't convince myself to.
if i really do that,
i feel like i'm not being myself,
and not being honest with you.
it matters.
you matter.